There’s a new, less-spoken-about trend that’s actually an amazing way to connect with new matches.

Instead of sending the usual “hey” or trying to sound clever, people are starting to open with something very different – a small, honest message that feels real. It’s not a performance. Not a pickup line. But a quick glimpse into who you are.

Example

The message might look something like this:

Hi Jessica!
I’m throwing myself out here – it’s a bit uncomfortable for me in real life.
I come across as calm but I overthink everything.
I once got kicked out of football in ninth grade.
I was teased for breakdancing as a kid.
I was born with six fingers and still feel weird about my hands.
Anyway, I really like your vibe. How about we grab a beer sometime?

It’s strange and open at the same time. It’s almost too honest. But that’s why it works.

This kind of message cuts through the competition because it doesn’t try too hard. It’s not smooth or poetic – it’s human. It mixes vulnerability with humor. You admit small imperfections without making it heavy. You tell stories that feel personal, not polished.

The psychology behind it is simple:

• It surprises the other person – they don’t see it coming.
• It creates instant intimacy through self-disclosure.
• It signals confidence because you’re comfortable being imperfect.
• It’s the opposite of a “try-hard” opener. It says, I’m not trying to impress you – I’m just being real.

You can also create it as your Botly Prompt

Inside the Chrome extension, this could become a reusable writing tool. Something like:

Prompt name: “The Real Me – First Message Icebreaker”

System Prompt

Besides the key variables about you being on a swiper app, including your match names and what you like, include these instructions

Generate a first message that feels raw, short, and human. Share 3-5 small, funny, or honest facts about yourself, and end with a natural invitation or comment that keeps the conversation open. Here is a bit about me ……

1. Start with a quick self-aware intro (e.g., “I’m bad at small talk so…”).
2. Add 3-5 short lines about real, imperfect, or funny things about me.
3. End with a warm, easy line that invites a reply.
4. Tone: honest, simple, not polished, not braggy.

How to write one yourself

Ask yourself:

• What are small, weird things about you that could make someone smile?
• What’s something you’re insecure about but can mention lightly?
• What do your friends tease you for?
• What random story from school or work reveals a bit of who you are?
• What kind of moment makes you feel like “the real me”?

Then write it down in short, plain sentences – no clever lines, no emojis, no long storytelling. Keep it human, slightly self-aware, and brief. Around 5-10 lines is enough.

It shouldn’t sound like a script. It should sound like something you’d actually send in a voice note if you had one take to get it right.

The balance is the key:

• real, but not a confession;
• confident, but not braggy;
• short, but not cold.

That balance – honest but unforced – is what makes people stop scrolling and actually feel something.

You could also just put it in your bio on tinder or bumble – but hey! (pro tip) those are better with mysterious things and you can use Chat Assistant to help you write those ;).